I contemplated dressing in the clothes that I wore yesterday, but then I decided that I ought, at least, to look presentable.I laughed mirthlessly, sneering at the vanity of it, but still I washed and shaved, brushed my teeth, taking solace in the familiar routine, trying to fool my subconscious that yes, indeed things were normal, that this wasn't my last day on earth.I dressed carefully in clean clothes and then I sat and thought about the arrangements that I had made. I tried to take comfort in the fact that Jenny would, at last, be free from economic hardship. Then I took one last look about me and retrieved the bottle of barbiturates from my overnight bag.So this is how it ends, I thought, in a dingy room in an equally dingy hotel. I sat on my bed and contemplated the bottle of pills that I held in front of me. They represented peace, but my hands shook as I opened the bottle and I couldn't get even one of them into my hand. I threw it and the tablets against the wall and. “I’m glad we had our little talk about pleasing your partner.”“Me too.” I said as I looked down at my sleeping sister. “But I have a feeling that we’re a long way from being done.”“Actually, I’m not sure how your father will react to the two of you having sex, so until we break it to him, I don’t want you to have sex with me or your sister when we’re at his farm.” Mom told me.“Really? I would think that he’d react the same way you would.” I said.“Not really, and I already explained this to Emma.” Mom said. “But your father wasn’t the one in our relationship that started it, I was.”“Really? Well you never really told me.” I said.“Well it all starts back when I was 18. I had just finished High School, and was looking at colleges. Back then the best thing you could become was a secretary, or a nurse or something. No one would ever think that a woman could climb up to be a head of accounting like I did. Your father, my brother, came to me and told me a quick way that I could earn some.
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